Dear California "Psychics"

Dear California Psychics,


Any psychic who works by phone, receives money, charges anything, has a television show or advertises that they are psychic at all? Are NOT psychic. I find it hard to believe that anyone who can read minds, see 'ghosts'--I'm not saying I don't believe in spirits, I just don't believe in HUMAN spirits being on Earth after death--and supposedly sees the future would WANT people to make them do that. It doesn't seem all that pleasant, especially with the world we live in.

As for anyone who is fool enough to PAY one of these faux psychics? Lol, u mad bro?

Love, Jo

PS: School sucks real bad.

As if anyone reads this

I'm not dead... been busy.

....kay, i'm sorry. This is gonna have to be a serious post. I'm sorry. As though anyone really reads my crappy blog that might as well just get called a ripoff of all the shit I read on the internet. I'm sorry to anyone who hates reading emo, depressed, self-pitying shit. But sometimes you just gotta write it. If you don't like it, be among the other 6 billion who will never know who I am, or anything about me.

I'm tired of feeling like a waste of space, air and anything else I unintentionally take up.
I'm tired of feeling like every time I try to help ANY-friggen-ONE, all it does is backfire and make people think I'm a know-it-all.
I'm tired of the anxiety I feel every day.
I'm tired of being unable to break out of patterns I know are detrimental towards not only me, but those around me.
I'm tired of never being good enough.
I'm tired of being the one that always says the wrong thing.
I'm tired of being the one that no one really seems to want to talk to.
I'm tired of being a burden on my family.
I'm tired of being passed over.
I'm tired of being GLAD that I've been passed over.

And over all? I'm sick and FUCKING tired of being trapped in my own head, and trying to figure out if something I do is because of how my brain is warped... or if it's me. When I KNOW that there's no separating the two.

I just want to not hate myself so much. I know this world isn't where I need to put my stock... but I'd at least settle for not wanting to just jump into traffic at rush hour. I at least want to not make my brother hate me so much... I don't WANT to rely on him for so much. But the truth is, and I wish I could make him understand... I really CAN'T stop. No matter how hard I try, unless/until some blessed thing like a car wreck takes me out.. i can't stop. I wish I could. I want to be a good sister, daughter, friend, student, example... hell. Even a good PET OWNER. But I can't even do that. I want to be selfless. But just how many times I put the word 'I' in this post.... I want to stop existing. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll have an aneurysm sometime soon.

Dear PMS

Dear PMS,

I'm just going to go right out and say it. @#$% YOU PMS. STOP IT.

As if I didn't have enough problems taking things too literally, you have to go and make me feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE IS AIMED AT ME PERSONALLY! WHAT THE FRIG, MAN?! Why? *sniffle* Why do you have to do this to me, EVERY MONTH!?

And I'm pretty sure my family isn't too happy with you either. Can't you give me a break? Just one month where I don't notice you? C'mon. New Years' is coming! ....please? Please?

Love, Jo.

Dear Fellow Roleplayers

Dear Roleplaying Community,

(First December post, YAAAY)

I admit it. I am a roleplayer. I make up worlds and people and stories and play them with other people. On the internets. I've been roleplaying on the internet since I was about 12 years old, and been writing stories since I was able to actually write in English. I used to RP in a game based on the books of Tamora Pierce, but nowadays I stick to World of Warcraft or random roleplay with friends.

That being said... I have admittedly high standards when it comes to the people I roleplay with. I try to be open to newbies who want to learn, but I admit I can be harsh when it comes to that. I try not to be. I try to be nice.

I'm sure I'm not alone, either. There are many roleplayers out there who are considered elitist because they have standards as to who they associate with and the various skill levels they allow to play with them. While this can be a useful practice and keep the quality of your roleplaying experience in the high range, this can sometimes ostracize newbies and leave them alone and cold in the dark recesses of the internets that spawn Mary Sues and Marty Stus. 

BUT FEAR NOT, FAIR NEWBIES! There are many ways to impress veteran RPers who have issues being nice with you, largely because they have tried to teach many like you but found they were not Newbies, but Noobies. And as the old adage says, Once Bitten, Twice Shy. You will see this in many Veteran Rpers when you ask questions they find to be 'stupid' or 'obvious'. Do not be afraid to ask anyway! A good roleplayer never has ALL the answers about their chosen RP universe and they never stop asking questions of those more knowledgeable.

One of the best ways to make a good impression with your peers is to write the thing that will forever be a record and guide to your character: The Profile.

While not every RPG will require this, it is still a good thing to have on hand for quick reference. The Profile is more than a description of what your character looks like, it can contain information about their personality, their personal history and so many other nuances that make a character something enjoyable to experience.  I have filled notebooks over the years with Character Profiles.

Keep in mind, a Profile will not earn you love and admiration from Veteran roleplayers automatically, but a well written one is a step in the right direction.

Below is a template I've used for years and years that has worked for quite some time.





My hope is that if you go to use this template, it will help you flesh out your character by thinking 'hmmm. What about them should I put HERE?' If it is too confusing, feel free to go back to using the more basic bio template, or make your own custom one.

(Disclaimer: Jo is OCD and has very high standards, and is incredibly strange. And this is the template she uses to write character profiles in her paper notebooks. Feel free to make alterations as needed. And remember. The Slappin' Trout eats Mary Sues, Marty Stus and Badly Written Emos.)

[Basic Info] (This is pretty much things you would include in conversation when introducing yourself in some situations.)

Name: (Your character's full name here. Please try to pay attention to the universe in which you are playing! Don't steal names from Star Wars if you're playing in Battlestar Galactica and don't gank names from Middle Earth if you're in Azeroth!!!)

Nicknames:  (Pretty self explanatory.)

Class: (This can be an interesting field as some peoples' characters have multiple classes or are combinations of classes. Whatever universe you are playing in will usually have a set of classes premade.)

Level: (An optional field, I sometimes include this into the Age of the character.)

Titles: (Please. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE note that NOT EVERYONE -HAS- titles. Typically they are honorifically given by way of merits or by station, depending on your race or affiliation.)

Age: (This can be posted as say.. 'Kaldorei equivalent of 20' kind of thing, as many of us are not familiar with the various races' aging standards. This can vary from RPG to RPG.)

[Appearance] (This is what people see immediately upon seeing you for the first time. Remember that first impressions are the most important, and what you put into this category IS important.)

Hair: (Please keep in mind there are some colors that are NOT NATURALLY available to certain races.)

Eyes: (Please keep in mind there are some colors that are NOT NATURALLY available to certain races. Read up on your character's race before you go picking some colors.)

Skin: (Skin can include skin tone, complexion and any significant scars and tattoos.)

Build: (This is your character's physique, their body type. A word to the wise: A priest is NOT going to NORMALLY be as buff as a warrior and a paladin is not going to be sneaky as a rogue. A rogue or a hunter are not going to be buff as a warrior or a paladin, they would be leaner and sinewy, built for endurance, not strength. There ARE circumstances this can be altered, but remember that if it isn't normal, have a believable explanation.

This may also be where you can add in if they have a limp or other visible handicap.)

Extras: (This is typically where -I- put scars, piercings, tattoos and other defining physical markings, including missing limbs and the like.

Race: (If you are a roleplaying beginner, PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stay away from HYBRIDS! Beginners who play hybrids are usually easily spotted... and are not treated well. If you MUST play a hybrid, PLEASE ask a veteran rper's input on your character before saying 'LAWL THEY'RE HALF DEMON OR SOME STUPID SHIT')


[Persona] (This category contains things that will not be immediately obvious upon people looking at you. While it isn't what people will see or know when first meeting you, this is an equally as important category as Appearance was. While the details put into this category are just as likely to change as you develop your character, please keep in mind that unless you are completely revamping your character OR they go through a VERY traumatic event, they are not likely to change completely at the drop of a hat unless they have some sort of psychosis.)

Personality: (This can contain a brief summary of your character's personality type. Are they a hero? Are they naive? Are they a dreamer? Are they a coward? This is where you will describe that, and be sure to include what MIGHT be evident by their body language upon meeting them. If someone is a timid or shy individual, they will be quiet and tend to keep to themselves. If they are an extroverted and confident person, they'd be out talking to people. Etc.)

Strengths: (This category and the next one do not need to be exceedingly detailed if you don't want them to be, but they are usually a very nice addition to your profile as it may give your character more approachability. Just keep in mind to keep them within normal limits, unless they are a more extreme personality type. And as a rule, do not INCLUDE the Strengths category if you OMIT the Weaknesses. That would just be douche-y.)

Weaknesses: (See Strengths, though Weaknesses is able to be included by itself, as it is not prone to godmodding.)

Extras: (This is where you should put things like odd quirks, tics and phobias. Little tidbits that make your character a little more 3 Dimensional. These are some of the things that make your character memorable. Just.. try not to go overboard with things like Phobias. Or, if you do, give a good reason for it in their History. Some phobias have no logical cause, but that needs to be explained. Make it believable. You can also include professions here.)


[History] (This is a biggie for an rp character, especially an active one. There are many styles to use, and many ways to write it. I advise, make it like a short story. Start with the early years, or whatever events preceding your character that are significant to their existence now. I don't mean copypaste WoWwiki or scenes from a movie or book the RPG is based on.

Try to make this easy to read, or no one WILL read it. Be careful with format, and with grammar. Keep your timeline consistent as you can, and be sure to refer back to this when writing subsequent threads and plotlines. This category, like the others, can be subject to change as you learn more about your character and the world they live in. Do try not to write any of these in the present tense, as that tends to make it very confusing.)

I: (This is where I'd put early years, childhood, etc, if you want to put them in.)

II: (Adolescence, or any significant happenings in those sort of time periods.)

III: (Adulthood and leading up to the present. This is where you lead out into the more recent threads and plotlines that are happening NOW.)

Current Threads and Plotlines: (This is where you can hyperlink to the threads, posts, short stories and plot lines that your character has been or is involved in. This is a field I usually include if I'm posting a profile on a forum or into a little website.This is where you can use present tense.)


And that is my Character Profile Template! Sometime soon I may include a few other little rants and guides as to help guide the RP Newbies of the world without ACTUALLY TALKING TO THEM.

3 AM, AWAAAAAAY

Love, Jo.

Dear James Patterson

Dear James Patterson,

Please. I am begging you. Get off TV. Stop starring in your own friggen commercials, and stop acting like you're God's gift to the literary world. (I'll get to Stephanie Meyer later) You are just using cheap psychology tricks to get your readers to keep buying. If you had any integrity as a writer, you would never have even considered an advertising thread that contained something like 'If you don't buy my books, I'll kill my most famous character!'

THE FANS DON'T CONTROL THE STORY. THE STORY CONTROLS THE STORY. STOPPIT. JUST STOPPIT.

Consider this your warning.

duhnuh. duhnuh. duhNUGHDUHNUH

Love, Jo.

EARWORMS 7

Gotta love a man that can love his cat enough to write a song about 'im.

Dear Undetermined Illness

Dear Illness,

Why must you make my life miserable? It is the day before--technically it IS Thanksgiving--Thanksgiving and tomorrow is the one day a year it is socially acceptable for me to want to eat EVERYTHING... and you reduce my already medicationally reduced appetite to zip. I literally had to FORCE myself to eat a mini bagel thing for dinner to stave off the dreaded Hypoglycemia.

You had best be on your way until FRIDAY. Because on FRIDAY, I don't have to go ANYWHERE. I want to enjoy this holiday. I don't want to feel like my brain has been half replaced by foam soaked in soapy water... and I don't want my stomach to feel like it doesn't need any food ever. (Well I want it to feel that way most of the time, but not aaaallllll the time.) Your welcome is not only worn out, it never existed. GO AWAY.

Love,
Jo